Created by Alex J. Cavanaugh, the IWSG exists to seek and provide support for our insecurities. Anyone is welcome to join. Simply click on Alex's name above and put your blog on the linky list. Then hop around and visit other insecure writers like yourself!
The co-hosts this month are: Pat Garcia, J.Q. Rose, and Natalie Aguirre!
e-book is only $1.99 today until 11:00 PM MT. You can purchase a paperback copy for $15.00 (this includes the shipping cost). All proceeds from book sales through midnight tonight will be donated to Team Gleason and the ALSA, with me matching the amount of profit, personally. This is a tribute to my dad, who died a year ago. You can read more about this on last week's post. THANK YOU SO MUCH to those of you who already purchased the book, either during this fundraiser or any time since its release. I appreciate you.
The optional question this month is: What are one or two of your secrets, that readers would never know from your work?
Here's a secret: I'm highly empathetic. Stories of abuse, rape, murder, animal abuse, etc. hurt me deeply. I can't stop envisioning it, even if it's a picture I gleaned from the written word. If a horrific video auto plays on Facebook, it sticks with me for a long time. I also pick up the mood of those around me, which can mean anything from joyfulness to being dismally down in the dumps for no good reason.
My word for this month is: Discouragement.
I'm feeling today as if the last year I've been scrabbling at this writing/publishing thing with my fingernails, barely holding on, just trying to get purchase. I thought of this as something that would continue improving, albeit gradually. A graph line increasing exponentially over time.
At this point, it feels like it's going down, down, down.
I realize that's a gloomy way to look at it, but it's certainly how it feels right now. I'm throwing spaghetti at the wall and it's not sticking. It's been too long since I got an acceptance, and I'm starting to think I've forgotten how to write or my writing's gotten crappier. Is it possible to devolve in your writing? I had a surge of short listings, then got rejections (or the publications shut down), then nothing but rejections. It's frustrating. It's disappointing. It's depressing.
More likely, it goes more like this:
Maybe I'm just there at the 26th (or so) of September. There are probably a bunch of reasons for these. I haven't been submitting nearly as much as before. I'm still building up the stockpile since putting out the last collection (which feels like a year ago, but it was just back in March!). I've got a stack of stories I need to finish editing (got them edited on paper; need to edit them digitally and submit). It's taking me a month or so to get stories resubmitted once they get rejected.
So yeah, I know I'm not working the business as hard as usual, but I'm pretty certain the average is down. I'm on the verge of walking away for a while, but when I try to imagine it, I can't. I'm also trying to remind myself that these are hard times, I already know I'm suffering depression, and that these things are likely shaping how hard I'm taking things right now, but knowing that doesn't seem to help.
This seems like a natural time to segue into my submission stats for the month. I did get two stories edited, so they're out on submission now. Finally! I've been writing when I'm able, but avoiding editing since it's my least favorite part. I'd rather be creating!
Rejections - 3
Submissions - 4
Withdrawn - 1 (Submitted back in September, queried in February, withdrew when I received no answer)
Currently on Submission - 8 (I'm trying to get back up to 10 on submission at any given time, if not more)
I hope everyone is doing as well as possible right now, that you're hanging in there and taking care of yourself, whatever that means for you. Keep writing, keep submitting, keep creating.
What are your current insecurities? What secrets are you harboring (that you're willing to share)? How are you doing right now? Is there anything I can do to help you?
May you find your Muse.
**Parabola Clip Art, OCAL, clker.com
**Graph Crash Clip Art, OCAL, clker.com
**Graph Clip Art, OCAL, clker.com