Wednesday, June 2, 2021

IWSG - SOON

 It's time for the Insecure Writer's Support Group for June, and I almost forgot, because the holiday and school ending have completely thrown off my schedule. So today will be a super brief post, because we haven't had a hot water heater since Sunday, and my fibromyalgia flareup doesn't understand WHY I have not taken my hot bath for the last couple days. It's almost 2 AM and I am not going to be until I've taken a bath! Because I am basically made of pain right now. BUT since I just finished a class, I'll probably be taking today off, so I can finally spend more time visiting you guys during the IWSG!!

So with that intro (haha), let's get into it.


Created by Alex J. Cavanaugh, the IWSG serves to create a community of support around our writing insecurities. Anyone can join. Just click on Alex's name, go to the IWSG tab, and put your link in. 

Co-hosts this month are: J Lenni Dorner, Sarah Foster, Natalie Aguirre, Lee Lowery, and Rachna Chhabria!

My insecurities this month have caught me by surprise. Since my writing career has been mostly on hold, other than still writing a story here or there, and still going through spates of submissions every once in a while, I haven't felt much like part of the writing community lately. More than that, I feel like I'm watching everyone else go on ahead of me, and that I'll be playing catchup.

Most of this is, of course, irrational. There's no race happening. I don't feel I'm in competition with others. It's hard to explain the conflicted feelings I've had during this. It's taken until my forties to be able to go to college, and I'm so incredibly privileged to be able to do it now. It's just very hard to set aside something that is such a big part of me, because it's not like I've been able to shut off that part. I'm pushing it down continuously and ignoring, for example, urges to write. I jot down ideas, but can't take the time usually to pursue them yet. So it's a building list of "later."

I had a weird realization that I get a pang when I see a project come out that I saw the call for, but simply didn't have the time to write for. So we're not even talking about being upset by rejections. It's me being upset that I could have possibly had a chance to be in this project, and that I didn't do it. So again...weird.

Anyway, that's my insecurity. I just need to finish up school and jump back in. And as of tonight, I've finished another class, which puts me at exactly halfway through the classes this term. 22 credits to go, with 7 of those having to do with capstone projects. That means only five more actual classes to go before I hit those final projects/papers.

Stats for May:

17 short story submissions

5 rejections (because the spate of submissions came on the 24th of May, so very near the end of the month.)

20 stories currently out on submission

I'm seriously looking forward to visiting people today, because I didn't really get to last month due to a pending final.

May you find your Muse.

40 comments:

  1. Your determination inspires me. I whimper if I sweat too much...and I'm the one who moved me to the tropics, for heaven's sake. You are a true warrior. I admire your perseverance and dedication to your dreams.

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    1. Thank you! I hope there's plenty more good in the tropics, as well.

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  2. Life is always filled with "I wish I could have's." But right now, you are fulfilling one of those dreams by getting your degree. I am confident that all those ideas you are writing down will come to fruition and when they do, you won't be saying, "I wish I had a degree." You will be saying, "look what I have done IN ADDITION to my degree!" Keep on plugging. I hope your water heater gets fixed and you feel better in every way.

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  3. Hi,
    Believe it or not, but I understand where you are because I have been there too, and another writer from a different part of the world told me to stop being so hard on myself. In fact, her exact words were be gentle with yourself.
    Your college is important. In fact, I would say it is very important because you have been gifted to attend at a later age than some people. Enjoy that you can do that. Those calls that you saw may come around again, but one thing is sure, going to college and finishing that up may never come again.
    My last words for you are not only be gentle but be patient with yourself.
    Have a great month of June.

    Shalom aleichem,
    Pat G @ EverythingMustChange

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  4. Hope you feel better soon. I'm like you watching people get published while I slowly work on my project. I'm okay with it though now. I enjoy the process of writing but recognize that there are other things in life, like working part-time, and my family that I need to focus on too. You've got a lot on your plate with school. Don't pressure yourself too much.

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    1. You're absolutely right that other things are worth putting first. Good luck on your project!

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  5. Sorry it's frustrating you. But when you finish school and get that degree, you'll feel a great sense of accomplishment.

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  6. You are accomplishing so much! College is no small challenge and all that while deal with fibromyalgia. AND, you're still getting stories out there. You go, girl.

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  7. So sorry you're without hot water, Shannon. That's never good even at the best of times. Take care of yourself.

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    1. Thank you! We have it back, and I had probably the best bath ever.

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  8. Hope you get hot water and some pain relief soon!!
    I always feel like I'm behind - even with no race and no competitors! It's silly & I know it, but the feeling is omnipresent!

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    1. Thank you! I'm glad I'm not the only one, though I hope you don't have to keep dealing with feeling that way.

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  9. That’s an incredible amount of submissions and you should be proud of what you’ve achieved not only by sending those out, but by persevering with everything else going on, too! Best of luck :)

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  10. I went back to college for my masters when I was forty. It wasn't easy, so I understand what you're saying. However, it's sure worth your while and I know you'll pull it off along with more writing!

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  11. I always feel like the other writers accomplish much more than I do. Constantly. I think it is a matter of perspective. Every day, someone else publishes a book or gets a story accepted by a magazine, but if the pool I watch is a few hundred strong, it's bound to happen. The trick is to see yourself as one of that same successful crowd. To belong. Than your accomplishments (which are many) would inspire someone else (or inspire jealousy in someone else - :)).

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  12. Sometimes we can't do everything we want to and it sucks. No sense in denying that or being bummed about it. Just know you're doing what you can and doing the things you think are best for yourself.

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  13. Oh no! I completely understand what it feels like to watch others moving forward, while feeling like I'm barely treading water. You are not alone. And I think we all go through this from time to time. Some folks just hide it better than others. Hugs... (BTW - you do a lot, in my opinion.)

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    1. Thank you! I hope you realize that you also get so much accomplished.

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  14. Congrats on all the short story submission. You Go!

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  15. No hot water? What is this, Little Blog on the Prairie? What a PITA for you. I've got fibro, too, so I know where you're coming from.

    Kudos on the college - I was a non-traditional aged law student, meaning, way older than most of the class. It was tough, but so worth it.

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    1. Ha! It was pretty close there for a while. Especially as there was also no water the day it was being replaced.

      Thank you, with return kudos!

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  16. I hear you! But having said that I would like to add that you get a lot done. Best wishes!
    Sonia from https://soniadogra.com

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  17. Ouch, Shannon. I hope you get your hot water back soon!

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  18. Sounds like you have a full plate and are rockin' it. I catch myself comparing myself to others constantly. I stick with the morning mantra of, "Look how far I've come." I feel you on the holding period. This reintegration after a lock down change is a shock to the system. Great post, and thanks for sharing. Happy IWSG Day!

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    1. I like that mantra. And reintegration is definitely a shock.

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  19. Congratulations on going back to school and all of the submissions you accomplished!

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  20. Egads. I hope your water heater gets fixed soon and your pain goes away.

    Best of luck with the rest of your classes and I hope you get back to the submission amount you want!

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  21. I am so impressed that you are doing so much, dealing with constant pain, AND still sending stories out! You have long been my inspiration to submit more stories (which also means writing more). I’m trying to figure out now how many rejections to pile up before I ask if a story is fundamentally flwed.

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  22. It does seem like home maintenance issues come when you are least prepared to deal with them. But that is all of the time for me. I wish you lived closer, you could come take a bath at my house or get in my pool in about a month.

    It took me a long time to recognize that the right time will be there and the opportunity will be there. You are a fabulous writer. I guess the frustration is that beast surging in you to get the words out. I have felt the beast myself.

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