It's time for the Insecure Writer's Support Group for June, and I almost forgot, because the holiday and school ending have completely thrown off my schedule. So today will be a super brief post, because we haven't had a hot water heater since Sunday, and my fibromyalgia flareup doesn't understand WHY I have not taken my hot bath for the last couple days. It's almost 2 AM and I am not going to be until I've taken a bath! Because I am basically made of pain right now. BUT since I just finished a class, I'll probably be taking today off, so I can finally spend more time visiting you guys during the IWSG!!
So with that intro (haha), let's get into it.
Created by Alex J. Cavanaugh, the IWSG serves to create a community of support around our writing insecurities. Anyone can join. Just click on Alex's name, go to the IWSG tab, and put your link in.
My insecurities this month have caught me by surprise. Since my writing career has been mostly on hold, other than still writing a story here or there, and still going through spates of submissions every once in a while, I haven't felt much like part of the writing community lately. More than that, I feel like I'm watching everyone else go on ahead of me, and that I'll be playing catchup.
Most of this is, of course, irrational. There's no race happening. I don't feel I'm in competition with others. It's hard to explain the conflicted feelings I've had during this. It's taken until my forties to be able to go to college, and I'm so incredibly privileged to be able to do it now. It's just very hard to set aside something that is such a big part of me, because it's not like I've been able to shut off that part. I'm pushing it down continuously and ignoring, for example, urges to write. I jot down ideas, but can't take the time usually to pursue them yet. So it's a building list of "later."
I had a weird realization that I get a pang when I see a project come out that I saw the call for, but simply didn't have the time to write for. So we're not even talking about being upset by rejections. It's me being upset that I could have possibly had a chance to be in this project, and that I didn't do it. So again...weird.
Anyway, that's my insecurity. I just need to finish up school and jump back in. And as of tonight, I've finished another class, which puts me at exactly halfway through the classes this term. 22 credits to go, with 7 of those having to do with capstone projects. That means only five more actual classes to go before I hit those final projects/papers.
Stats for May:
17 short story submissions
5 rejections (because the spate of submissions came on the 24th of May, so very near the end of the month.)
20 stories currently out on submission
I'm seriously looking forward to visiting people today, because I didn't really get to last month due to a pending final.
May you find your Muse.