IWSG - It's Okay to Not be Okay & Jemi Fraser's Dancing With Dementia

It's time for the April Insecure Writer's Support Group.

Created by Alex J. Cavanaugh, the IWSG exists so writers can seek support and lend support. Anyone can join. Simply click on Alex's name and sign up. Then post about your insecurities and hop around to see what others have to say.

The co-hosts this month are Diane Burton, JH Moncrieff, Anna @ Emaginette, Karen @ Reprobate Typewriter, Erika Beebe, and Lisa Buie-Collard!

The optional question this month is "How are things in your world?"

On that note, it's been a strange month, full of unknowns. Some people thrive in terms of creativity during hard times. Others close up. I tend to have trouble letting my creativity flow during times of struggle or insecurity. Don't put pressure on yourself if it's not coming to you naturally. maybe this is the time to experience the arts more than create them. Get some extra reading time in, watch a movie, take a virtual tour of an art gallery or museum, listen to music, dance, do a puzzle, color.

My co-director and I scurried to put our monthly Pikes Peak Writers events online after having to cancel the Pikes Peak Writers Conference and delay a half-day event. Happily, after playing around with Zoom, we found we could do everything we needed to online. And people from everywhere can join in! I'd love to "see" some of you join in to the events. They are all free except one, which is the half-day event. Click HERE to view our free programming and get more information. If you have questions about format, just let me know in the comments. I'm excited that, albeit hopefully briefly, I can share some of our free education events with friends outside the area for once.

***If you're not interested in joining any of these, skip down to the next set of three stars. This is just more info on the events.***

The Write Brain is workshop style, and will be on writing comedy in April. Rebecca Rowley's presenting it, and it's called Zen and the Art of Parody. Totally free workshop, and she's a lot of fun. The May one will be an attorney talking about Legal Issues in Worldbuilding, BUT we're not positive yet if that one will be online.

Writer's Night is just when we all get together to ask and answer writing questions. You can tune in without asking a question. It's completely up to you. Another free one. Mytchel Chandler hosts this.

We're not doing Open Critique in April, but might in May. (This one will be free).

Write Drunk Edit Sober will also be online. Deb Courtney teaches mini lessons then has people write to prompts. This one's the soonest (April 8). It's via Delve (Adobe), but May's will likely be via Zoom. Also free.

So if you're interested in any of those, you can click on the links and get dates/times. They're all in the evening. We figured by taking it online, people would have something to do, and get some semblance of social time. And it gives you an idea of what I do for my volunteer job! The hardest part was making sure we could do our half-day event online since there are three speakers and it's a paid event. Knowing if we'd be able to do that or if we'd be canceling was incredibly stressful, because our quarterly half-day events are how we pay to put on all four free monthly events, so we can keep doing them. Once we got that figured out, it got slightly less stressful, so yay! (If you're interested in the paid half-day, it's on writing synopses, query letters, and loglines, and it's online and available to anyone interested, as well.) The funny thing is, had we not ended up canceling the half-day, I wouldn't have been able to attend my own event! It was originally scheduled on Pi Day, and I had to work the day job that day. Now it's April 11, so problem solved. The speakers are all good at what they do, but they're also friends, so I was disappointed I'd have to miss seeing them.

***Event info end***

About the day job, we only ended up having one more business day after Pi Day before everything went completely crazy, and we had to either close or adapt to doing all takeout/curbside. We made the adjustment, though, and didn't miss any days of being open. Just a reminder to anyone getting takeout from open restaurants in your area: the servers are still packaging everything up, and they're still making the usual tipped hourly wage. Not only that, but they're having to risk exposure to COVID-19 and the flu with every customer coming in. Please bear that in mind. I've found that about half the people getting takeout or curbside are still not tipping (for the record, I've always tipped some when doing takeout, but now I'm tipping out 20% for them being on the front lines).

As the payroll person, I've had to make some changes to how I do payroll, so it's definitely interesting times. Plus, my kids are home from school, and my husband is now off work every other week, so everything that is my normal has disappeared. It's no wonder I haven't written in two weeks. I was punishing myself for it mentally at first, but then I reminded myself that nothing is normal right now, and it's okay to not be okay. On top of that, I launched a book a couple days before the apocalypse, which has, of course, hurt sales. And I feel uncomfortable promoting it, so I've stopped for now. I'm hoping to do a book launch with friends who also had the misfortune of putting a book out right when things went haywire, but we have no idea when we can do that, so not being able to plan that and have it done adds to the stress. Plus, all my scheduled appearances (except podcasts) have been cancelled or delayed. I briefly had a job opportunity that would have involved me getting paid for the same type of job I currently do as a volunteer, but with the company having to shut down events, not only are the job positions all closed now, but those already working for them are waiting to see if they get to keep their jobs. AND my trip out to my grandma's memorial, who died just before all this, had to be canceled. Finally, my mom is trapped at home, and every time I visit I possibly expose her to COVID since I'm having to fill in for server (one of our line cooks and one of our servers have chosen to take a leave of absence from work, due to being in the high risk categories, so I'm taking on some extra in-person server shifts on top of ye olde day job.) It sucks. I feel like I should be doing more for her right now, but I also don't want to endanger her. I'm sure many of us are dealing with that right now.

So that's how I'm doing, in a nutshell (not a very small nutshell, was it?) I've got more work than usual, instead of less, which is probably best. There's been no time to sit around and dwell. We're moving my daughter to a new room, and I'm trying to get my house cleaned and purged of unnecessary stuff (we can't purge right now, because all the donation centers are shut down, but I can be ready to when the time comes.) Other than that, all we can do is take care of ourselves, take care of those we need to take care of, and roll with this thing while we wait to see what happens next.

It’s a pleasure to be participating in author Jemi Fraser’s DANCING WITH DEMENTIA, Recognizing and Coping with the Early Stages of Dementia Blog Tour through MC Book Tours today.

The author is offering a tour-wide international giveaway of an Amazon Gift Card. More information on the giveaway is listed below.

Recognizing and Coping with the Early Stages of Dementia
by Jemi Fraser

◊ Genre: Nonfiction, Memoir
◊ Publisher: Just Jemi Books
◊ eBooks
◊ ISBN-13: 978-1-9991258-1-3

Dementia and Alzheimer’s touch the lives of millions around the world, but so much is still unknown.

As first-generation Canadians, we didn’t recognize the early warning signs. We didn’t know the differences between regular aging and the early stages of dementia. We’ve made mistakes but we’ve learned a lot.

DANCING WITH DEMENTIA will help you:
•Identify those early warning signs
•Use visuals to improve communication
•Choose your words wisely
•Redirect and reassure
•Stay calm and cope with your own emotions
•Consider nursing home options
•Improve caregiver self-care

We’ve learned to dance the early steps of the disease with our love and laughter intact. If you are looking for help recognizing early signposts along with practical ways to cope with early Dementia and Alzheimer’s, this book is for you.

I asked Jemi for a Top Ten List. Here it is!

Thanks so much for allowing to visit here at the Warrior Muse! As Shannon enjoys horror, I thought I’d focus on our Top 10 horror moments in our dance with dementia. Lizzie is our Mom and Philip is our stepfather.

Top 10 Horrifying Moments

10. Watching Philip drive his car up to our house, RIGHT up to our house, and not being able to do a thing to stop him

9. The morning I picked up Lizzie to visit Philip in the hospital and realized their car had disappeared from the apartment parking lot

8. Cleaning out an apartment where 2 people with dementia had been “taking care of things” for years

7. The day Philip got his car stuck in a snowbank in a blizzard and Lizzie walked a couple of miles to call for help

6. The day Lizzie saw a cow wandering the hospital hallways

5. The day Lizzie eluded the nursing home staff and safety system and disappeared for hours without anyone knowing where she was

4. Discovering (the hard way) that Lizzie no longer understood the value of coins and bills

3. The day I checked on the pill organizer I’d set up the previous evening to find the medications all reorganized by colour (leaving a potentially deadly combination)

2. The day the police stole Lizzie & Philip’s car … sort of…

1. The day Lizzie & Philip had the grandkids over for lunch … and served vodka in water glasses

Most of these horror moments have a funny side, as long as you enjoy gallows humour anyway. We’ve learned to find the humour in as many situations as we can. It’s one of the best ways to cope as we continue to dance with dementia!

How about you? Anyone else enjoy the dark side of humour? Anyone else use humour to help them cope with the dark side of life?

DANCING WITH DEMENTIA buy links:
Amazon.com              Amazon.ca          Apple Books       Barnes & Noble          Kobo

Add DANCING WITH DEMENTIA to your Goodreads shelf

For those who aren’t familiar with the author, here’s a bit of background on her.

Jemi Fraser writes both fiction and nonfiction. Her nonfiction work focuses on the ways that dementia has impacted her family. Her fiction work varies from contemporary romance to suspense and flash fiction. Years as a teacher have taught Jemi that life is short and that happy endings are a must.

Jemi lives in Northern Ontario, Canada where snow is always a topic of conversation and the autumn leaves make everything better.

For more on Jemi and her writing, visit her following sites:

Website          Just Jemi Blog       Dancing With Dementia blog 

Amazon Page        BookBub      Goodreads       Facebook       Twitter       Quick Tips Videos

GIVEAWAY DETAILS:

This tour-wide giveaway is for a $20 Amazon Gift Card. The giveaway is open internationally.

To enter the giveaway, just click on the Rafflecopter widget below and follow the instructions. The widget may take a few seconds to load so please be patient. If the widget doesn’t show up, just click HERE and you’ll be directed to the widget.

Thanks for stopping by and be sure to follow Jemi on her week-long tour HERE. You never know what you might find out. I hope dementia hasn’t touch your family or friends, but in case it has do you have any tips to share on dealing with this terrible disease?

a Rafflecopter giveaway

Back to me (Shannon), I did have a short story  come out in an anthology, XVIII, on the 20th. "Following the Rules" is told from a little girl's viewpoint, and it's all about her night parents.

Since this post is so long, I'm going to save my submission stats and links for next week's post. Plus, my pandemic viewing and reading recommendations.

How are you doing through all this? Have things stayed relatively normal for you, or are you dealing with massive upheaval? What do you think of Jemi's Top Ten list? Have you dealt with a family member with dementia? What are you feeling insecure about? Are you being kind to yourself?

May you find your Muse.