Showing posts with label double tap. Show all posts
Showing posts with label double tap. Show all posts

Monday, August 29, 2011

Top Ten Signs You Watch, Read or Write Too Much Horror

**Images were removed once I learned a little more about the laws concerning using others' photos.**

To start off this top ten list, why don't I start with a little tale of a late-night walk I took last week?

I headed out for my usual walk at around 11:30pm. The moon was drifting in and out of visibility behind dark, patchy clouds. Halfway up the hill, I heard a noise and looked up only to see what looked like a man crouching at the top of the hill. I could see his head and part of his torso, which was nude. I froze. At first I was just trying to figure out if my eyes were playing a trick on me or if there was really some freak crouched at the top of the hill. He was just staring back at me, unmoving.

What would you assume if you saw this? Choose your own adventure:

A. Assume it is just a neighbor checking his lawn at 11:30pm at night, partially clothed. Walk by and call a friendly hello.
B. Think perhaps some guy got locked out of his house without his clothes on when he poked out onto his porch to grab the paper he never picked up earlier. call up asking if he's decent.
C. Oh my gosh, it's a fracking werewolf! Throw your hands up in the air and run, screaming, back to your home, hoping against hope he won't catch you before you can make it.

Your selection may say a lot about you...

Without further ado, here are the top ten signs you watch, read or write too much horror:

10. You always look up when you walk into a darkened room.

Oh, please, I knew you'd be up there. Most predictable move in the book!

9. Descending stairs with no backing into a dark basement is akin to Chinese Water Torture. You will tell them anything they want to know, so long as they don't make you go down there for a jar of pickles.

8. You profile your neighbors, specifically watching neighbor-kids for signs of the serial killer triad. You even go so far as to ask, "So, when did Little Johnny stop wetting the bed?"

7. You're prepared for the zombie-pocalypse, but could care less about the nuclear apocalypse.

6. You feel safer if you've had a bit of garlic with your dinner.

What? You don't like my new perfume?

5. You own silver bullets.

Where's your full moon NOW?

4. You've ever screamed "Double tap!" at an inappropriate time.

He's not really dead; come on!

3. You wonder if the mystery meat is human or animal.

For today's special, we have a CNA from Detroit, aged nicely.

2. You greet the shrill ringing of the telephone with sheer terror.

Who is this? What do you want? Why are you doing this? Oh, mom, is that you?

1. It crosses your mind that the weird guy crouched at the top of the hill might be a werewolf.

I'd love to hear some of your signs that you watch/read/write too much horror! Which option did you pick?

P.S. I have not forgotten Feature Friday. However, I am having issues with Google Reader and can only randomly access the list of the blogs I follow. This also explains why I have not commented on anyone's blog unless they've commented on mine first. Please bear with me while I work on the issue, thanks!