No, I do not want to post about your swimming pool materials or your iPad headrest. I don't want to test out your eyeglasses (I wear contacts, never glasses). Your products don't appeal to me in any way. I would really like some chocolate right at this moment. Anyone want to send me some for a review? I could use something yummy to snack on. I'd like a million dollars; send me some cash to "sample," wouldja'?
I'm not interested in your guest post about parenting, business, exercise, job searches, fill-in-the-blank. It will just include "one little applicable link?" That's all? Oh, golly gee whiz, I'd be glad to let you sell a product on my blog with a topic that has absolutely nothing to do with reading, writing, movies, photography, or anything I could even pretend to be interested in.
What? You love my blog? You think it is well-written? You were turned onto it by a friend? Then how is it you've never READ the damn thing? When the beginning content of your email is no better than the Anonymous posts I've already blocked, you should move on.
No thanks, I have no capacity to even try to be interested in that b.s. you'd like to "sponsor" on my blog. Sponsor this:
|by Robert Dillon, clker.com|
Want my help? Actually have read my blog. Offer me something that has to do with the topics I discuss here, not something that has absolutely nothing to do with what I'm interested in, or what my readers are interested in. Pay attention to what I've said IN MY BIO on the side of the page about what I will or will not do. And don't LIE TO ME about being a reader/fan/follower when it is quite obvious that YOU ARE NOT. And don't expect me to post what you want me to post. I'll try your product that has to do with reading or writing (MAYBE), and I'll post a fair review of it (IF I SO CHOOSE), but I am not here to sell out and be your ad-crony.
Should I be flattered that I've reached a point where I get constant spam concerning my blog? Did I pass some magical threshold of awesomeness that brought this down on my head? You know what the irritating part is? When I've written back to someone because it wasn't as much dissociated spam, and I've told them I'm not interested and only post such and such, I've had people write back and argue. When I try to ignore emails, they will persist and email me over and over and over until I finally reply with a simple "Not interested," (and even then, many of those people will CONTINUE to harangue me or will join the arguing crowd).
How do you guys handle all the spam and unrelated requests? Do you find it funny or irritating? How do you reply (or do you)? Is it time for me to put up a tab with a specific list of what I will and will not do so I can just reply to them with the link? You can't argue with a link, right? It won't talk back. Then again, they probably still won't read it. Do I need to remove my bloody email??
Tell me about the weirdest email you've received about your blog, spam or otherwise!
May you find your Muse.