tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7646134662936278718.post856537159769026053..comments2024-03-27T23:03:58.848-06:00Comments on The Warrior Muse: Bullying Awareness & LinksShannon Lawrencehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00934641808195675935noreply@blogger.comBlogger14125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7646134662936278718.post-78551533359176844622013-10-10T17:09:10.780-06:002013-10-10T17:09:10.780-06:00I love you. This post had me in tears. I know exac...I love you. This post had me in tears. I know exactly how you felt, both as a kid being bullied, and much worse, when your son was bullied. That is the worst feeling in the world. <br /><br />Thank you for sharing.J.A. Kazimerhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10876584250229776810noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7646134662936278718.post-88321009469627615102013-10-10T15:08:50.284-06:002013-10-10T15:08:50.284-06:00Both your and your son's story about bullying ...Both your and your son's story about bullying are heart-breaking. What a special person your son is--my hat is off to him. You must feel very proud. <br />I too was bullied in elementary school. One day after school, I beat up the girl that had been doing it to me. Other kids from our class stood around in a circle, cheering me on. They too had been hurt by her. She never bothered me again. Funny thing is that a year later, she and I became friends. If I'd had half the wisdom and kindness your son exhibited, I might have had a friend much sooner.Jagodahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18352786929899391940noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7646134662936278718.post-73384297029987850682013-10-10T13:22:15.973-06:002013-10-10T13:22:15.973-06:00You've told me this story before, but it break...You've told me this story before, but it breaks my heart every time. Anger and violence is the last thing that will help and should only ever be used as a last resort. Trying to get help for the bully (and the bullied) is the best thing that can be done. Unless they are literally a psychopath, there is no reason that somebody is a bully without cause. Reacting with hatred and anger only makes things worse for everyone.Rachelhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07507642753163503531noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7646134662936278718.post-77124056163139970392013-10-10T07:22:40.199-06:002013-10-10T07:22:40.199-06:00Wow, what a heart-wrenching story. I'm just gl...Wow, what a heart-wrenching story. I'm just glad it worked out okay in the end. At that age, violence is definitely not the answer. Later on in life... well, sometimes it is. Sometimes people who have been bullying their whole lives are just past talking and need a good ass whooping. In self defense, of course. I don't advocate just walking up to someone and punching them in the face.A Beer for the Showerhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17029139745335325356noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7646134662936278718.post-45608862647708355062013-10-10T03:47:22.215-06:002013-10-10T03:47:22.215-06:00That is a beautiful and honest post. I love that y...That is a beautiful and honest post. I love that your child handled things the way he did. Becky Fyfehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01595020500346331076noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7646134662936278718.post-84925970792279400832013-10-09T21:16:36.561-06:002013-10-09T21:16:36.561-06:00I think all kids are either bullied, or are the bu...I think all kids are either bullied, or are the bully, at some point in their childhood. Its the support and direction from adults that make them become victims, long time bullies, or just a kid that stood up for himself or others and moved past it.<br /><br />I'm glad your son finally had his say, and was able to turn the attitude of the bully kid. I can't believe those pre-school teachers would just turn a blind eye. That kid was completely crying out for attention to his needs, and they were essentially turning their backs on him with their inattentiveness. Kids will be kids, and act out on occasion, but clearly the adults recognized a problem, and failed to offer guidance. They could have ruined that poor kid at the most impressionable age. Shame on them.<br /><br />I'm glad you and your son were able to work things out. Its always nice to see that a little assertive kindness can change a world view.<br /><br />Lots of excellent info in the rest of the post Shannon. Thanks for bringing it to my attention :)<br /><br />Pat your son on the shoulder for me.<br /><br />........dholedolorahhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08715849844092553699noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7646134662936278718.post-58652088588681662162013-10-09T19:37:41.104-06:002013-10-09T19:37:41.104-06:00I believe every child will be bullied at one time ...I believe every child will be bullied at one time or another. It takes a responsible and caring adult with a million eyes to help sort through the mess. Cathrina Constantinehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16960849263181625782noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7646134662936278718.post-68527518704052192332013-10-09T18:40:17.294-06:002013-10-09T18:40:17.294-06:00My heart aches to hear about bullying, but especia...My heart aches to hear about bullying, but especially about smaller children being a parent of a preschooler myself. I remember when I was in school, the general idea was that bullying was just part of growing up. Adults didn't do anything about it. I wasn't physically bullied, but there was the verbal bullying, and by high school, I was invisible. My son's preschool has a zero tolerance policy for bullying. I know two years ago, they had a girl that was bullying and bit another student. She was not allowed to come back to the school. My son's preschool is a co-op, so the parents are involved in many things. I know all the other kids in his class, and I've been around to see how they interact with one another. My son's a gentle soul too. I hope he'd be as wonderful as your son in realizing all the bully needed was a kind friend.Christine Rainshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08263694662585963900noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7646134662936278718.post-23926981007272198842013-10-09T16:00:22.601-06:002013-10-09T16:00:22.601-06:00Bullying is terrible. It wasn't allowed in my ...Bullying is terrible. It wasn't allowed in my k-12. Our principal made it her mission. I wish more schools had her attitude.M Paxhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14096697282530998519noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7646134662936278718.post-38921647208845268252013-10-09T14:22:50.295-06:002013-10-09T14:22:50.295-06:00Yvonne, I agree, insecure and unhappy.
D.G., that...Yvonne, I agree, insecure and unhappy.<br /><br />D.G., that's true. The bullies I dealt with through my school years were brutal. They never changed. It was me that changed through it all. It's too bad the situation is so bad that police now have to be involved. Schools in this area now have police officers, usually just one who deals with anything that occurs at several locations, but some have one full-time. I wonder how things might have been different had we had that when I was a kid? So much of the bullying was emotional over physical, though not all of it.<br /><br />JP, that's a great book to be written. I hope you checked out Rachel's page. Let her know about the serial book available and perhaps she'll post information on that, too?<br /><br />Andrew, I tried ignoring that kindergarten bully, which earned me scissors in my back, being hit over the head, etc. The verbal ones, I do believe that works on. If you aren't responding to the nasty things they say, it's no fun. Unfortunately, I have a major FIGHT or flight complex, and have a hard time not fighting back. I've improved as an adult, of course, but as a kid, I automatically defended myself. It's hard to do the right thing sometimes, whether that's ignoring them or befriending them or whatever else is right for that particular instance. And I definitely agree it's about attention for the little ones. Though I'm discovering just how early little girls get mean. The fearful trinity exists already in kindergarten, where if three little girls are friends, one will almost always be ganged up on by the other two. The next week a different girl will be pushed out, with the other two bullying them. I rather hate it, but I don't know how to conquer it. I'm working on that with my daughter. No trinities!Shannon Lawrencehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00934641808195675935noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7646134662936278718.post-67374450454005951162013-10-09T11:37:11.953-06:002013-10-09T11:37:11.953-06:00My experience with bullies has always been that ig...My experience with bullies has always been that ignoring them (I mean completely ignoring them) was the best way to deal with it (at least on an individual basis). Bullies are after a reaction, and, if they can't get it, they move on to somewhere they can. Of course, this isn't an easy thing, because they will, for a while, try escalation tactics to get that reaction, but, if they continue to not get it, they stop.<br /><br />With kids, especially young kids, though, it's not about the bullying, it's about attention. And that kid in your son's class definitely needed some. Acting out to get negative attention is always preferable to no attention.Andrew Leonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13964775673414653644noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7646134662936278718.post-77581583012070078132013-10-09T11:33:39.111-06:002013-10-09T11:33:39.111-06:00Hi Shannon I read your post with interest. My firs...Hi Shannon I read your post with interest. My first book is about bullying and the effects on the victims from a psychological point of view. It is currently being revised for the YA group for whom it will be most use. It is being serialised for free all this month on my website at www.jprambling.com click on the book cover image.jphttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14366756099517322071noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7646134662936278718.post-8594432450941453332013-10-09T09:41:42.687-06:002013-10-09T09:41:42.687-06:00Not all bullies react as they might when they'...Not all bullies react as they might when they're younger. My daughter had to deal with several young MEAN girls who just loved spreading lies and threatening her in middle school and in high school. Bullying is NEVER acceptable. One girl in particular, who had a father lawyer was particularly nasty. I went to the school board, the parent teacher association and threatened action if something wasn't done. <br />After that (and other kids were also being targeted at the school by one clique). I made that school committee aware. There is now a police presence there after two other incidents with other kids. We live in a nice neighborhood, this isn't common, this is a respected school. But it shows us that these kids don't know how to handle mean bullies. (I dislike a 'leave it alone' attitude - that accomplishes exactly zero.)<br /><br />It's an ongoing problem - it takes place in offices and workplaces too. Bullies seldom change.D.G. Hudsonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06213237734772028645noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7646134662936278718.post-62764527158633826312013-10-09T07:59:10.850-06:002013-10-09T07:59:10.850-06:00I think people who bully others whether it be chil...I think people who bully others whether it be children or adults are very insecure in themselves.<br />A very common problem and one I hope passes over the years.<br /><br />Yvonne.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com